the haps of the week...

We had a team in town this week and it has been pretty crazy around here because our new members, the Oaks, joined us as well. So every morning we trekked to where they were staying, picked them up, and headed to where the team was, then headed to campus for a good bit of the day, then headed back for dinner, then took the Oaks home, then came home ourselves. Thankfully there were many times where I was able to come home and rest, which was nice. And I rested a bit on campus too, sitting in the grass and relaxing is beautiful, reminds me of the good ol' times at "the farm". The team has been awesome though! They've been going about the day in full force, encouraging some of the people we know and meeting new ones. I think we have like 5 or so new girls to start visiting, which is awesome. I don't really know what else to say about the week. Still have to kind of process it all, a little too tired from it all to really sit down and think about it...maybe next week after I've been able to recover. At that time I will also have pictures of their trip. I'll even have pictures from a boxing match we went to tonight...it was cool, slightly boring fights (the last two were more energizing), but it was fun to watch all the drunk people run around being crazy. Ok, I'm going to rest so sometime soon I can actually process things.

Being an Aggie

Ok so when you tell people you're an Aggie, you get a lot of jabs especially if they know Aggies. I pretty much expect it from everyone I meet unless they are a fellow brother or sister. But I must say that I am pretty darn impressed with our football team this year. And this past week I've really started to miss being in the states and having the ability to watch my Ags play football. The past few years, they've really stunk it up and the year I decide to move they've picked it up. Of course, many of their games this year have been nail biters but they make for amazing games. I realized how much I missed going after viewing some photos that a friend of mine took when she went to a game. To be in that atmosphere again where pretty much everyone in the stands is a crazy Ag is so awesome! To stand up for the whole game because you've got their back if they need it, is a feeling that you can't describe. And to be there during a winning season well I'm sure it's just crazy out there, especially when we are BCS ranked baby! Yes I know, we're still low on the totem pole and the tides can change at any moment, but I'm still proud of their season this year! Way to go boys! I may be miles away, but I'm ready to go in if you need me!

Happy Birthday Ang!

This post is in honor of my incredible friend, Ang, who is celebrating her birthday today! This chica is awesome and I can't believe I am not able to be with her on this day. But the party is just being postponed for a little while. So let me tell you a little about Ang. I met her about 7 months ago, a few days after I saw her wheel into a meeting in a wheelchair. Funnily I thought who in the world is this chica. And then about a week later, we kidnapped another friend, headed to Starbucks for a little getting to know you time and the rest is history. We were pretty much inseparable for a while, but alas the Lord called us to move and we followed. This woman is following hard after Him, desiring to bring Him glory in all that she does. She's a great encouragement to me and on this day to celebrate the Lord bringing her into the world, I'm sad that I cannot be there. But alas, I hope she has a fantastic day anyway! Happy Birthday Buddy! I love you!

Zanzibar

We got to go to Zanzibar again this past weekend! We kind of just decided to pick up and go...I was talking to Whit one day and just said let's go to Zanzibar and since we weren't going to Zambia anymore we knew it was quite plausible. It was a great weekend to get away since a team is coming in this weekend. So we packed up and left and this time we stayed on the beach on the east coast, the area is called Paje Beach. It was amazing! Absolutely clear blue water and white powdery sand, who could ask for anything better? We got there Friday, laid on the beach for a while then walked along the coast for a while and that was about it. And all day Saturday we laid on the beach and walked the other way down the coast and that was about it. What a life huh? I'm so grateful that the Lord provides these kind of opportunities! A rest from life in Dar is definitely what I needed at this point. I love it here but going and going can be quite tiresome especially when the Lord is stripping you of yourself in the midst of being somewhere completely unfamiliar and uncomfortable. And it was so great that as we rode home in our taxi we all said that we were glad to be home. There's really not much to say about the trip...the Lord provided rest and refreshment and taught me a few more things about myself...things that were more of a reassurance of the truth that I hold fast to, reassurance in that I am here to bring Him glory...that through that I persevere and am able to be holy because He lives within me...anyway, just a taste of what He showed me through this weekend. So here are some pictures...

heading out on the ferry...this was the much calmer ferry ride, we all made it without any hitches (Whit didn't feel so well on the way home)

This is BEAUTIFUL Paje Beach...probably can't tell from the picture that it's so beautiful, so I'm thinking you should just come visit me and I'll take you there

yup...them's are some cows, taking a stroll down the beach...i live in Africa, nothing surprises me anymore

the three of us during our stroll...that's Keri, me and Whit by the way

you know this girl has to have at least one picture of a sunset posted...don't worry kids, i've got plenty pictures of the sun setting, this isn't the only one!

The Valley

For the past week and a half I've been learning a lot about valleys and mountaintops in relation to this walk as a follower of Christ. And basically what I've learned is that for the most part I've been striving to climb the mountain and get to the top and stay there while really I should be in the valley. I do strive to get to the mountaintop for that is where you see the glory of the Lord and I desire for that. But being in the valley is where you bring glory to the Lord and that's the whole purpose of this life anyway. I've also realized that when you are on the mountaintop there aren't any people around to share the truth with, they are all in the valley. And I've been called to go and make disciples so I shouldn't be on the mountaintop for long. So my perspective on the valley has changed and that's where I desire to be. Little did I know that when I shared this with God, He would bring me there. For in the valley is where you learn a lot about yourself and when you are being refined. In the valley is where it is tough and where being stretched hurts. And that has been happening a lot in the past few weeks. As I said in one of my recent posts I'm being stretched and refined and I can feel the pull and it hurts. I've realized so much in the past week of how selfish I really am and I don't like it. And it's something I lay down over and over again yet pick it back up. Why do I continue to pick it back up? I don't know but I do. So it's something that the Lord is trying to refine and I'm trying to fight it. I don't want to fight it anymore. I desire to be made completely His and my selfishness can be something that stands in the way. So yup, I told the Lord to take me to the valley and refine me and that's what He's doing. And to the valley I go because my purpose in life is to bring Him glory.

No Go on Zambia

Yet again I was told that I should prepare to go to Zambia for a month and am no longer going. Which I am very excited about. During the month of November I was suppose to take off to Zambia and go through some more training. Basically they wanted to send me back to "the farm" except it would be located in Zambia and not in Virginia. And while I was there I would again be learning about culture and how to learn a language and health issues, etc. Things that I thought I learned back between March and May. I wasn't really happy about this because I didn't want to have to leave the relationships I have started to build and then have to return and almost have to start all over again. And on top of that I was going to be out of what I now know as familiar during a month that will most likely be very hard for me due to Thanksgiving and my birthday taking place then. I had let go of my selfishness on this though because I knew that if the Lord wanted me there He was going to take me there. I came to a point where I realized that you know what I'm doing here in Dar is not really my ministry and my doing anyway, it's the Lord's. And so if He wanted me to go somewhere else and speak truth into the lives that I came across there I would go. He did tell me to pick up and move to Africa and here I am. Who's to say that for the next two years He's going to keep me here the whole time anyway? Only Him! So by His power I was able to say ok if Zambia is where I am to be during November then to Zambia I will go. And I just trusted that He was going to take care of the relationships that I had already started building. You know He was here before I got here, He's still here while I'm here and He will still be here when I leave. But the minds of some people were changed and here I am not going to Zambia. So basically want to leave you with this...wherever the Lord leads I will follow...He is what life is all about anyway!

Reflections

Now that my friend has left I've had a whole heck of a lot of time to reflect and quite frankly I'm not sure that I've enjoyed it so much. There are a lot of things that God is teaching me and probably has tried to teach me for a long time but I've been able to ignore them. It's just one of those times that He's saying, "yup, you can't ignore this anymore!" And well, let's just say my heart is breaking into pieces, but with a broken and contrite heart I come before the Father because that is what He wants. So I've been reflecting a lot on why this past week has been so difficult for me. And this is what God brought me to. The friend that came well she's basically amazing and it's because of Christ in her. I miss the easiness of that relationship. The girls I meet on campus, well they are awesome too, but there is so much more effort I have to put into building the relationship. They have so many walls that I don't know how to tear down and it is stretching me beyond belief so much so that I can feel the pulling. It's a good pulling, but nonetheless it hurts and I don't want to have to go through it. I know that's why I've ignored Him, that's the only reason I ever ignore Him because I don't want to have to go through it, I don't want to have to hurt, I'm a selfish being and it's ridiculous. Who am I that I can think even for a short moment that I deserve anything, that I deserve for things to never hurt? WHO AM I? I am no one, I am but a breath that can be taken away at any moment. But yet, He looks at me and loves me and He calls me His daughter anyway! And through all of this, He sat there and told me, "You know the next two years, you aren't going to have easy relationships. It is going to be hard and you are going to have to put more effort into them. But I'm doing this because you lack in complete reliance on Me. For so many years I've provided relationships that you can turn to when you need. Now I want you for Myself. I want you to completely rely on Me for everything. I'm stripping you of you and I know it hurts, but trust Me. Trust Me, I will hold you through it." So yea, it hurts and I'm not enjoying being stripped of myself but He is good! And even though I have to go through this I will still sit here and praise Him. I will still come before Him in awe and wonderment and I will still walk in His ways, in complete obedience to Him!